Craigslist part 2: In search of friends

Yes, you read right, I've been hoping to fill my void (no, not that void) that is lack of in-person friendship with...gasp...personal ads. Many would say, "you're taking the easy way out." Easy? Uh...no.

People post things in the Platonic section that do not belong there. My understanding of...ahem..."platonic" is just that. Swapping fluids, any sort of insertions and of course nipple clamps or "comfortable nudity," which probably involves an erection or two and anything else that might get one a little slap and tickle in the dark. A quick glance in the M4M Platonic section showed this one at the top, "Downlow, Masculine player looking to bottom - m4m - 28 - (los feliz)," ad stating he'd like a couple white or Armenian guys to take turns on him. Platonic. The photo is of an olive skinned, dark nippled, fairly average torso with a chin attached, no navel. He might be ugly as fuck, but that's not the point. The point is, a guy looking to get pounded should post in Men Seeking Men or Casual Encounters. There are others reporting penis size (or desired) and variety of sexual proclivities and talents. The ones seeking fully dressed companionship are few and far between.

One ad I posted contained seven lines of acts I refused to perform, including but not limiited to dildos, bondage and fisting. And a whole slew of others. I EXPLICITLY stated my desire for only platonic companions, in some cases at great length. So what have I gotten? Mostly flakes and ulterior motives. I seem to be attracting some guys who take "happily married" for "if I try hard enough, I can get him." Ain't gonna happen. There are others who play endless email and phone tag only to vanish into thin air. Some reply just because they like my photo. Some vanish when I tell them I don't drink. It goes on and on.

Friendship wise, I'm a catch and know I am. The ads, coupled with the death of a good friend, turbocharged by losing another friend with a mis-text on my part (SHE EATS ALL FUCKING DAY!) prompted me to call every old friend I'd lost touch with. I hung out with one last night. It was wonderful. I've known her for almost 20...I mean since I was 22. Old queens have to say it that way. Not "since 1991" or how many years. It just sounds better.

So did any good come of this? Well, I think I met one good one. Straight guy, I responded to his ad seeking hiking buddies. He's two weeks older than me, in the music business and has a really mellow personality. He kicked my ass hiking up Runyon Canyon from the bottom at Franklin Avenue all the way up to Mulholland Drive. My shirt was soaked. As for the rest...we'll see. The aftermath is like going on a bunch of first dates, except I wasn't attached to the results.