Welcome to Relapse Season

Picture it: 1995, the Royal Palms Alcoholic Recovery Home, Los Angeles. Afternoon group was held in a cavernous basement meeting room lit by flickering fluorescent lights, air claustrophobic with no air conditioning or ventilation. I learned three things in this group I still use today. "You must stay focused" and "why are you here?" were repeated throughout the week. Group leader and king of the house Arthur A. always started Friday group with "I smell the obsession!" On weekends, we were free to come and go (subject to house rules) without a daily schedule of groups. True to form, someone was usually missing Monday morning. Seeing this every week helped to scare me into staying sober--I didn't want to be a casualty of the obsession. What does this have to do with it being relapse season? Every year, at the end of spring, I smell the obsession.

Ask anyone who has been in recovery a long time and they will tell you when the weather gets warm, people relapse. What is it about this time of year that makes sober individuals lose their heads and throw their recovery away with both hands? Warm weather, summer festivities, endless distractions, less clothing--and warm weather makes the nasty parts all hot and tingly. Shiny objects and summer euphoria distract people from the rooms and they drift to the edges. "I feel good, I don't need to go to all those meetings!" Before they know it, they are longing for the good 'ol days or something terrible or wonderful happens and they are loaded again. The rooms of 12-step recovery start filling up again when the weather gets cold, especially after the 1st of the year when people make solemn resolutions to shape up. This time of year, there are plenty of open seats. 

How have I avoided being a casualty of relapse season? A while back I wrote a rather forensic blog on Relapse Mode but simply, by staying connected to the recovery community. When I came into the rooms, they told me I never had to be alone again. By nature I'm a loner and isolation is one of my drugs of choice, so joining in sober activities was counter-intuitive. I knew I had to walk through my discomfort to grow spiritually, so I forced myself. I never did join the sober softball team but did go to dances, BBQ's, bowling, conventions, and lots of fellowship (hanging out). Bottom line: I stayed in the center of the pack as we tend to get picked off by the obsession when we linger near the edges. 

When I got sober, it was suggested that I err on the side of caution when it came to putting myself in slippery situations. I was still young (26) and wanted to have fun, but being around other people my age who were partying produced an internal tug-of-war that felt too much like a close call or would simply make me long for the good 'ol days. After some time in recovery, this was no longer the case; we will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us (9th Step Promises). 

After considerable effort working my program, I had a a spiritual awakening which for me was like this: you're free. I can go anywhere. My recovery was (and is) a precious gift. For newbies who aren't there yet, don't rush it. At a year, I decided I wanted to go to dance clubs again and found out I wasn't ready. A year later I was. There's no hard and fast rule on time limits but it is suggested that we avoid slippery places and slippery people. With solid recovery, the world is a lot less slippery. I still stay in the center of the pack, I still go to meetings and 12-step functions, and work with others. 

Rehab mostly provided me with 3 hots and a cot while I pursued recovery in the rooms, but did teach me those 3 important phrases--and they taught me how to mop a floor in prison. Today is a warm, gorgeous day, but--I smell the obsession. Stay in the center of the pack, it's worth it. Don't leave 5 minutes before the miracle happens.