"Nice Junk"--Quick and Dirty Used Car Buyer's Guide

3 1/2 months ago, I scored another stellar used car. After decompressing from my search, decided to share. This blog is by NO means comprehensive but I do have some good suggestions, all handed down to me by others who buy "nice junk." Dad was sensational at this and I can thank him for the bulk of my "nice junk" buying knowledge. At the very least, use these suggestions to weed out the losers and then take your fave to the mechanic. Some of this is specific to purchasing a vehicle in California. Cruising through Craigslist, you'll see a lot of different vehicles in different levels of decay as well as sellers with varying degrees of shade. I always joke that even my grandmother would fuck someone over in a used car sale. Do people lie? They LIE.

#1 best car to buy is 1-owner, low miles with a complete service history and Michelin tires. Why Michelins? They are the best tires, bar something exotic. If you love German cars like me, you know that someone who paid $70,000-100,000 for a car probably took care of it and more likely than not, it will have Michelins. If you have to eliminate one of the above criteria, more than 1 owner with a service history is cool but we're speaking in ideal. Did I buy a 1-owner, full service history, clean, low-mileage, smog-certificate-in-hand car this time around? Almost.

My budget was 3 grand. When establishing your price range, I also think of what the car will need. I always look for a ride with a recent smog certificate and paid registration. If you can get the owner to lie and say he sold you the car for $1000, you'll pay (in CA) $120 or so to register it. For some reason, a rash of sellers are claiming a car can be transferred for $30 because the registration is paid which isn't true. A great many used cars will not pass smog and will take several hundred dollars (or more) just to get it to pass, not to mention the cost of the smog certificate. Does it need tires? An easy $500+. Tune up? Could be a few hundred more. Tranny going out? Mah lord, could be a couple grand. One of the most popular lies is "it's got a great engine, it just needs a tune-up." Don't buy a fixer-upper unless you're looking for a project car which is another blog. If you're buying a German car, don't be seduced by a low price. There's something wrong with the $1200 Mercedes, I guarantee it. In fixing a German car, everything seems to start at $700. It's easy to fix 5 minor things and have it add up to $4000.

The best cars I've purchased have been nice cars with bad photos. One of the things I've learned in sales: people have NO imagination, so this may get you to the front of the pack as well as a better deal. Also, read between the lines in ads. If a seller is disclosing small things that are wrong, like seat adjustments, a little headliner sag or a staticky stereo, they're more honest than "car is beautiful and perfect!" or a basic description "car is in good condition." I never call ads with little description and "car sold as is." I really love ads that describe the last 2 years or so of replacement parts and maintenance. Go look at those first.

Cars to avoid: salvage title. It's been wrecked and the insurance company has declared it a total loss. On an old luxury car, it may be a dent in a quarter panel. They may look shiny and sexy but...just don't do it. Also, avoid "kid" cars, i.e. modifications. I won't even buy one with custom rims--maybe a stereo upgrade but that's it. Modded cars generally live harder lives and don't get regular maintenance. Never buy a car that's running on a spare. If the owner can't afford $30-100 to buy a new tire, they certainly didn't maintain the car the way it should have been. Also, even if a car still has a clean title, avoid anything with collision damage, even if it looks minor. A BMW with a barely damaged front end can easily have a cracked frame, which means you'll have to throw the car away or spend WAY more than it's worth for extensive, complicated surgery. My one exception is the clean, low-mileage, 1-owner car with a bump in the quarter panel. If you need good, cheap transportation, sometimes that's a good option. Sometimes you can find a grandma car in stellar shape she scraped on the garage for around $1000-1500. Avoid super high-mileage cars, no matter how shiny and well-maintained they are, even if it "has high miles but runs like new!" Another one to avoid is the "garage queen" or "in storage" car that "runs perfect." Some of these require every brake line, belt and hose to be replaced before it's road worthy. Sometimes you'll run into a time capsule that's been sitting in grandaddy's garage for many years. As tempting as it may be, know you have to budget money to have all the fluids, hoses and probably tires changed. I'd rather find something with more miles that's been well maintained and driven gently. You'll also might have to pay back registration. Interiors are costly and a pain in the ass to repair/redo. 99% of you will never have a thing done to the interior after you buy the car. It's a lot easier to have a car painted than the interior fixed but when looking at nice junk, it's not worth it. You can find nice, shiny paint and a clean interior for under 3 grand. NEVER buy a car with "non-op" registration. You want something that's "proven" and driven regularly.

Online, 170,000 miles is often "low mileage." On the type of clean vehicle I described above, perhaps a Mercedes sedan, 170k might be acceptable if it's well looked after. It depends a lot on the make of the car. Some vehicles I've looked at have less than 100k and have been driven into the ground. My personal max is 180k but I try to go lower. The lower mileage the better unless it's been sitting. I wouldn't buy an American car with more than about 150k on the clock unless it was a classic (again, another blog).

So, it's time for the test drive--but first, you must contact the owner. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART, more than the test drive! Up front: NEVER buy from someone who says they're leaving the country right away. Equally bad is "selling the car for a friend." Why isn't the friend selling the car themselves? "He's in another state/out of the country." Even worse. I'm also wary of an original owner who suddenly "must sell today!" I also worry about prices being too low, but read on. The most information I get about the car, more than examining the car itself is from the owner. If I detect any hesitation to talk about the condition or history of the car, I don't look at it. I ask how long they've owned it, why are the selling it and what issues it might have. All used cars have issues. I was ready to hop a train to see a BMW convertible in Santa Barbara. It looked clean from the outside, had 180k miles which is fine for this model if it's maintained. I know because over the years I've had 3 of them. The owner wner said he was a mechanic. The seller was unusually curt and wouldn't send me pictures of the interior. As it was a 27 year-old convertible, of COURSE the interior wasn't perfect. If they say they can't send pics, I remind them the thing in their hand takes photos. NEXT! If a car looks super gorgeous in the pics, I will often ask (as respectfully as possible) if the car is as clean is it is in the photos. Listen to how they answer. I was starting to get frustrated because people either weren't calling me back or weren't telling me what I needed to hear. There was a primo looking BMW convertible 2 hours away by train. 2 dozen clear photos and it looked beautiful. The ad had been on CL for over a month which concerned me, I chalked it up to him being so far from town. I asked the owner if he could meet me at the train station which was 10 minutes from his house and he refused. Uber and cabs are hard to come by in the boonies. I said "fuck him" and moved on. Who knows what other kinds of difficulty he'd give me? I like my owners to be boring. BORING. They make the best owners. My theory about this is that the slick/slutty/glamour puss owners spend more time and money on their own appearance and less on their cars. Regardless, I've found this to almost always be true. And the older the better.

Then I got lucky--my instincts told me the white 2000 Mustang GT I was looking at on Craigslist with the too-low price and bad pics could be my pony. 123k miles, $2700 which was a handful of magic beans if the car was nice. I hadn't even been looking at Mustangs because I thought I couldn't afford a nice one. Was it a scam? My used car buying senses told me to go look at it immediately. I had nothing to lose but round-trip Uber fare. The ad said "clean, new tires, new front brakes, mechanic owned." The freaky part was, the ad popped up in my search for Mercedes and BMW's. It had no tags for these makes, I have no idea how it ended up in my list. I took it as a sign--finding nice junk takes a certain amount of serendipity.

Time to look at the car--With texts, emails and phone interviews, I eliminated 20 dogs. Maybe not quite that many...I'm good at reading between the lines. I had my list narrowed down to the Mustang and a ruby red 2001 Mercedes E420 with Michelins, extremely low miles and an elderly owner a train ride away in Orange County. An E420 with 94k miles is a barely broken in rocket ship that could be driven another 200k. I decided to go see the Mustang first. GO IN THE DAYTIME! A bonus: it was close. As Uber pulled up to the address, there it was, parked on the street. It was a little dusty. As I walked around it, my heart started to thump. It was gorgeous. The owner had been waiting for me on the porch and cheerfully greeted me, handing me the keys. Wow, that was fast. I popped it open. The steering wheel still looked brand new. The whole interior did. The knobs didn't look "handled" and it showed almost zero wear. The only sign of use was a tiny bit on the power button of the stereo. Shifter, knobs, driver's door panel (usual wear spots) were perfect. There was a tiny bit of rub on the bottom side seat bolster on the driver's seat, nothing to detract from the appearance. All the gaps in the doors and fenders lined up. I examined the bottom corners of all the panels and the underside of the car, hood and trunk, no rust. Flawless. This is important, wrecked cars often have panels that don't line up well. Doors shouldn't creak when you open and close them. The hood and trunk should open and close freely. (If the trunk "shocks" that hold the lid up are shot, it's not a deal breaker. They are cheap and easy to replace, even though you probably never will.) The tires were almost new. The paint was gorgeous. I studied the seller's body language and he didn't appear to be hiding anything. I tried not to get emotional because...the only car I ever bought new was....a 2000 Mustang GT. This car. Mine what a blue stick shift, this one was an automatic. I needed to stay cool and logical. It was going to be tough.This one was in even better shape than mine was when I got rid of it after 3 years of ownership to move overseas.

Behind the wheel--Resist the urge to blast the stereo. Turn it on, see if it works and then shut it off so you can listen. Roll windows up and down to see if they work but leave them down during the start of your drive. Taking off, I was probably grinning. It was tight and powerful and drove like a brand new car. No clunks or squeaks over the sloppy Eagle Rock road work. The heat was blistering and the a/c arctic. I drove it in stop-and-go traffic, no overheating, this is the best way to find out. On the freeway, no weirdness or vibrations from the driveline or alignment. If an owner won't let you take the vehicle on the freeway, drive straight back to your car and leave. The automatic transmission shifted as it should. I rolled up the windows and listened, no wind leaks or unnatural ambient driveline noise. There was a little grind in the back brakes. He'd replaced the front brakes but not the rear and it needed to be done. I asked myself if I was worried that he hadn't replaced the rear brakes. The rest of the car was so stunning I decided I could deal with it. Replacing the rotors (a must if the pads aren't replaced on time), pads and paying for installation would probably run about $300. I usually won't buy a car that needs something but this was so exceptional, I couldn't pass it up. During the drive, I told the owner about my former GT and how much I'd missed it. He was obviously affected. When you get back, pop the hood and check for leaks or squeaks. Hope you wore clothes you don't care much about because you need to get down on the ground and look. Is anything dripping from the engine or transmission? At the very least, let it idle and then back up to see if it left any puddles. With this car, there were none. No leaks, no squeaks, no smoke, no nada. With the brake job, a GT this clean would easily fetch $5500.

"Well, what do you think?" asked the owner. He'd told me someone else was coming to look at it. Usually this is the "fictitious other buyer" but I actually believed him. Should I buy it? Without a mechanic looking at it? As dad always said, "now you've gotta look it in the eye." I did. "I have to have it," I said. This time I only looked at 1 car in person. It turned out I didn't need to see more. I usually play it cooler but this guy was a mellow cat and I sensed I'd get a better deal if I was real with him. I'd only brought $2600 with me and had planned on lowballing him. I couldn't do it for this beauty. I told him I only had $2600 and he said he'd take it, since the car needed a rear brake job. Oh--and it had a recent smog certificate. As we did the paperwork, he told the oldest auto transfer lie, that I'd paid him $1000 for the vehicle. As I drove away, I wondered what I'd done to deserve such an amazing deal. Stored up good karma, I guess. My due diligence had paid off. Total cost for the Mustang GT, including the brake job was $2940. When I took it to my mechanic, he was amazed I'd gotten such a good deal. Everyone was.The pic above was about 15 minutes after I bought it. First order of business was a bath, then I cruised around for about 4 hours. Yes, it had been daytime when I did the test drive.

3 1/2 months later, Beast II (my first Stang was The Beast) and I have settled into life together. There has been no drama, I'm still happy with our union. The payoff for buying "nice junk?" I bought my other 2000 Mustang GT brand new right before Christmas 1999. My payments were $427.86/mo. My insurance was $480/mo because I lived in Vegas (dropped just below $300/mo when I moved back to LA) and it was a high performance car. Now, I drive the same car, completely paid for. It's fast and beautiful and my insurance is a little more for the whole year than it was a month. This GT will do everything the other one would do. "Don't you wish you had a new car?" No. There's nothing on the market right now that makes me want to stretch to buy it. I must admit, the new Mustangs look nice. I like the Challengers but it seems there's one every other block. "Don't you worry about reliability?" No. I'd drive Beast II across the country right now with no worries. If I have to get something fixed, it costs a hell of a lot less than driving a new car. If I was, I'd spend some more money and buy a 5 year-old auto after the original owner has eaten the depreciation.I know people who are slaves to their car payments and don't have money to go anywhere or do anything.  Doors of a Benz used to close with a solid "thud" Now it's a little "tink." It's the same with all expensive cars. I'm free of the shackles of car payments and high insurance and I love what I drive. Even in car-centric LA, my 'Stang gets compliments .