How I Lost 100 Pounds (and kept it off)

May 2005, I was shifting in my airplane seat, trying in vain to fasten my safety belt. Across the Pacific Ocean from Hawaii was Las Vegas and the ethereal Stevie Nicks. I was about to see her play the Coliseum at Caesar's Palace, but first I had to buckle that damn thing. I was sweating and short of breath. The plane started taxiing and I was still chasing the elusive "click." When the stewardess strolled down the aisle to check everyone's belt, I folded my arms. My gut covered it anyway. Just before takeoff, I finally managed (with help!) to get the thing fastened. There was no way in hell I was going to ask for a seatbelt extension. The airline seat was an iron maiden, the concert seat like balancing on a thimble, constantly aware of those around me, trying not to spill over onto their seats.

Although I'd struggled with weight for years, my 114 pound gain was unprecedented. From beach bod to chubby...lather, rinse, repeat. How did this happen? To make a long story short, I didn't have balance in my life. My feet had changed color and I'd developed sleep apnea. "The market's hot, I'm going to kill myself for 2-4 years and make a bunch of money." I almost did. One afternoon shortly after returning from the Stevie trip, I was standing in my front yard when all the sudden, a bolt of pain and numbness shot through my chest and left arm, up to my face. I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. It scared the hell out of me. "I'm only 36." 

I never weighed myself at my top heft. The most I saw on the scale was 294 which was after a couple weeks of dieting. I claim an even 300 as my peak, but it was probably little more. The most embarrassing part? I couldn't buy pants off the rack anymore. My solution was to put holes as close to the end of my belt as possible, holding the unzipped, unbuttoned pants (barely) together. I pulled a long shirt with as many X's as possible and voila, the fat pic you see. What brought all this home for me was a picture of me on the beach in Kauai wearing a pair of red swim trunks I thought were sexy. The photo was from the back and I thought it was of a Midwestern tourist. I stared in disbelief...and signed up for Weight Watchers immediately.

Weight Watchers is a great program. It teaches portion control and how to choose low-density (more for less calories) food. I'd used it successfully in the past but this time was having a really hard time sticking to it. That damn balance thing. I managed to lose almost 30 pounds which took 2 years.

April 2007. So I started walking. I walked and walked and walked, all over Los Angeles, mostly Hollywood. I clocked an average of 10 miles a day. Aside from exercise, I was out in the world, stopping to smell the roses. My thinking was slowing. I'd pursued business with a ferocity that nearly devoured...me. Did the pounds melt away? Slowly. Later that year I suffered a botched surgery which required a long recovery. The upside was I couldn't eat anything. Hallelujah.

Although I only attended Weight Watchers sporadically, they'd trained me well. I returned to eating vegetarian, something I'd done as a child and "quasi" as an adult. Kind of like being "almost" a virgin. By my wedding day in August 2008, I'd lost 50 pounds but was still uncomfortably chubby. The photos got me back to the gym for the first time in years.

It took me 6 years to lose 100 pounds. Although it was slow, there was NO period when I regained lost weight. There was no "yo-yo." I altered my trajectory just a little and made small, lasting changes, one at a time.

I only eat food I like. Years ago, I'd tell myself "I'm going to go on a diet," and buy a bunch of things I thought I SHOULD like. I ended up craving the things I wouldn't let myself have which was followed by an inevitable binge. Healthy eating changed my palate. I don't crave junk like I used to. I'll also spend money on good food. I eat lunch at Whole Foods hot bar a LOT. The fact that they weigh it helps with portion control. I'm an avid juicer. A typical breakfast for me is juiced kale, beet and carrot or apple.

I returned to vegetarianism after the surgical disaster. Strangely, my sense of smell increased exponentially (John Waters fans, think Francine Fishpaw) I'd been craving a Filet-O-Fish in the hospital. Mc Murder was the first stop leaving the hospital. To make a short story shorter, I threw the fish burger out the window on the Hollywood Freeway. I could no longer stand the smell of meat. Vegetarianism helped peel some pounds off, and then more when I went vegan in 2010. Added bonuses: a vegan diet got rid of 99.5% of my migraine headaches and most of my joint pain. With the exception of this year, I haven't had any colds since I went veg.The only reason I got sick was a dreadful amount of stress.

Now for my bad habits. I LOVE junk food. I will never give up French Fries. I LOVE coffee. I LOVE sweets but mostly have a handle on that one. If I'm craving something hard core, I just eat it. I find that obsessing about it will only make me binge. Do I binge? Hardly ever. They happen, but maybe 2 or 3 a year, and those are usually "planned" binges. I made a deal with myself: if I want to binge, I gorge on fruit first. If I still want to eat 5 pounds of Twizzlers, I may go ahead and do it. Twizzlers are basically corn syrup and red dye. Health food.

Lack of planning will land me in Taco Bell, scarfing too many Fresco style bean burritos and tostadas. I'm also a sucker for tortilla chips. Give me an open bag and a container of decent guacamole and I can easily polish it off if I don't watch it. And COOKIES. A vegan chocolate chip cookie at Whole Foods is one of my favorite treats. As long it's a treat and not a way of life. Today, I put a lot more thought into what I eat. I shop, I cook, I plan. Planning is key. I need healthy food on hand if I'm going to eat healthy. To avoid binging, I don't allow myself to get crazy-hungry. I take snacks with me such as bananas, apples, oranges and unsalted dry roasted peanuts. I portion them into 1oz servings in ziplock bags. 6 cups of strawberries (or a whole pineapple) have less calories (and everything else) than a doughnut.

  I also need recreation, travel, sleep, friends and exercise. Recreation and exercise can be the same thing. For me, it's better if all my physical activity isn't in a gym. Plain walking is underrated. Surfing is the best cardio there is. A steep hike is pretty damn good too.

I could write a whole blog on emotional eating. Eating something grandmother used to give me when I was a kid offers relief. In moderation, I suppose there's nothing wrong with this, but if I'm at a buffet and I load my plate(s) with all of them at once, that's a problem. A serious life event is certainly license to over eat, but I have to ask myself if it would make me feel any better and if it's worth feeling crappy the next day. Nah. 

There are lots of reasons to eat unhealthy food; aunt so-and-so will be upset with me if I don't eat her special _______, I have out-of-town guests and they just LOVE (insert type of shitty food) so I'll have some with them. Sometimes I felt like I had to eat something unhealthy so my dining partner wouldn't feel uncomfortable. I got LOTS of mileage out of that one. The truth is, I don't have to eat anything I don't want to eat. A simple "no thank you," sometimes followed by a second does the trick. 

When my clothes get too big, I buy some that fit and donate the old ones. No, it's not expensive. It's amazing what you can find on the Ross clearance rack. I've gone through several cycles of this and it's time to clean out my closet again. Wearing clothes that are too big makes me feel fat. Wearing clothes that fit makes me feel thinner, move different and look better.

This is so much more than mere weight loss, it's about balance. I know, I already said that, but it's what allowed me to lose 100 pounds and keep the weight off. Every morning, the first thing I do is write 3 pages in my journal and spill out whatever is bothering me, creative jags, to-do lists or whatever is rattling around up there as I suck down coffee. Another thing I do is make a play date with myself once a week, maybe a museum or a bookstore I've never visited. I got in the habit of journaling and play dates from The Artist's Way, an artistic recovery program I started 3 years ago. One of my old habits is to "stop and smell the roses," and I've done it pretty much every day of my life since I was little. Whenever my balance was off, I found myself not smelling any roses. My best meditations are watching the ocean or the Mulholland Drive overlook at sunset, watching the city come alive. One of the spillover effects of doing things like pulling over for 5 minutes to meditate in a park is balance, and with balance comes health.

I've tried starvation, narcotics, bulimia, compulsive exercise binges and fad diets. I've seen friends and family members spend thousands and thousands of dollars and go through untold suffering to line the pockets of the diet industry and suffer a yo-yo with increasingly steeper hills and deeper valleys. I altered my trajectory slightly, making small changes along the way and here I am, a new man.

About 15 years ago I was in the process of losing a much smaller chunk of weight and was fortunate to spend some time with Brooke Shields. I asked her how she stayed so thin and her answer was brilliant: "I eat whatever I want, just not as much as I want." No low-carb diets, no calorie counting. She controlled her portions, that was it. I don't think everything in the diet industry is evil, Brooke said the same thing Weight Watchers taught me: portion control.

For lasting weight loss, there's no quick fix. I ate less and moved more. If I burn more calories than I eat, I lose weight, it's not rocket science. Losing it is the easy part. The biggest thing I've learned is to be easy on myself. Once I gave myself permission to be imperfect, the weight started coming off and I got my balance back.

P.S. I'm now 10 pounds thinner than that "after" picture.
P.S.S. If you want a little motivation to exercise, get big dogs with tiny bladders. I've never been able to make them understand that sitting on my ass is more important than taking them outside.
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**Edit**
As of today, 5/26/2013, I'm down 104 pounds. I'm adding a few diet tips of mine. I hate to use the word "diet." These things have become second nature to me. Below is both a summary as well as some additions.

1. I do my best to never get ravenously hungry. If I allow myself to get to the place called "starved," all bets are off and chances are I'll make poor food choices. As I mentioned earlier, I carry snacks. I think it's ridiculous that bananas are on the "never eat these, they'll make you fat" lists. Cheap, awesome at taking the edge off "crazy hungry."

2. S L O W  D O W N. If I "gobble," I'm not enjoying what I'm eating, plus my stomach doesn't get a chance to tell my brain I'm satisfied before I've stuffed myself.

3. Have a real meal. I don't eat while I'm driving. I don't eat while I'm walking. I'm not a fan of eating in the car unless absolutely necessary (I'm a chauffeur at night.) I sit down at a table, arrange my food in a traditional manner and have a meal. I still manage to spill lunch down the front of my clothes.

4. Am I really hungry? Sometimes I'm really thirsty or just plain bored. I'll drink some water and then do something to switch whatever channel my brain is on and THEN see if I'm still hungry.

5. Guzzle water with meals. Two years ago I tried an experiment: drink 16-32oz of water and then eat half as much. How'd it work? You tell me. Give your stomach a little stretch and it will tell your brain it's full.

6. I don't keep ANY junk food in my house EVER. If I want it, I have to get dressed and go get it. Conversely, I do my best to keep healthy food in the house at all times.

7. Squeeze in exercise. Today I walked to work instead of driving. That was 13 minutes of walking 1 direction.  I mostly skip the elevator and take the stairs. I live on the 5th floor. Little things like this add up.

8. I never pile my plate with food. After I eat what's on it, I can always add more. Before I do that, I sit for 15 or 20 minutes. I'm usually not hungry after that. At restaurants that serve large portions, I make a little line down the middle of whatever it is and eat half, then sit for a bit, then eat the other half if I'm still hungry. If I had to pick just one thing from this list, it would be this. Portion control is key.

9. Exercise makes me want to eat healthier. Yes, a hard workout makes me hungry. I always budget my eating to allow for some food after I work out. what's this have to do with science? I don't know, but it works for me.

10. "Don't eat before bed or late at night, it will make you fat." I conducted an experiment. For a month, I ate earlier in the day, not eating anything for a few hours before bed.The following month, I ate the same food in the same amounts but later in the day, including right before I went to bed. The first month I lost more weight, right? Wrong. My weight loss clocked in at exactly the same rate for both months. Is this true for everyone? I don't know, but for me it was a diet myth busted. Pardon me while I eat some rigatoni, I have to go to bed in a few minutes.

With all the diet tricks and diet industry wizardry, I remember that weight loss boils down to one thing: if I burn more calories than I take in, I will lose weight.